The Simple Rules We Learn Young—and Why They Still Matter in Business and Life
Let Them. Let Me.
The Four Words That Can Change Everything
In both business and personal relationships, how you respond to others often matters more than what they do. A concept I recently read in Mel Robbins’ book put this into sharp perspective: Let Them. Let Me.
Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
There are some lessons we all heard growing up—simple rules our parents, teachers, or caretakers repeated over and over again:
Share.
Be nice.
If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
Count to 10 before you react.
Don’t yell.
Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want done to you.
Simple, right? And yet, if the world truly followed these kindergarten rules, we’d live in a much more peaceful, compassionate place.
Mel Robbins—a master at breaking down life’s truths—sums this up with just four words that carry enormous power:
Let Them. Let Me.
Mel Robbins book - Let Them Theory
Let Them.
Adults make their own choices. Their actions and words are reflections of who they are—not who you are. We often hear phrases like “Give them the benefit of the doubt,” but sometimes, people show us exactly who they are. Believe them.
Let them.
Let them act that way.
Let them make that choice.
Let them speak to you the way they choose.
Let them show you their true colors.
You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to excuse it. AND you also don’t have to try to fix it, change it, or internalize it.
Let them means releasing the urge to control or correct other people. It means stepping back, observing, and recognizing that their behavior is about them—not you.
Let Me.
This is where the real power lies.
Let me decide how I respond.
Let me manage my energy.
Let me show up in a way I’m proud of.
Let me walk away if I need to.
Let me protect my peace.
You can’t control what other people do—but you have full control over how you react. That’s where the shift happens. Instead of focusing on them, you center yourself in your own choices, your own actions, your own boundaries.
This Applies to Every Relationship—Personal and Professional
These four words—Let Them. Let Me.—aren’t just for self-help or social media quotes. They apply to real life, in every relationship.
When you have a hard conversation with someone, especially someone close to you, their true character comes out. Do they stay calm? Do they take accountablility? Do they genuinely apologize? Or do they yell, blame, or shut down?
I’ve been fortunate in my business. I’ve worked with amazing clients—kind, respectful, and professional. I’ve never had to deal with this kind of conflict in my work, and I’m incredibly grateful for that.
But in my personal life, I’ve had those hard conversations. I’ve made it a point to remain calm, to listen, and to observe. I’ve been yelled at. I’ve been blamed. I’ve been called names. And while those moments are painful, they also reveal everything you need to know.
Because in those moments, you get to say:
Let them show you who they are.
And Let me show who I am.
That’s where the clarity lives. That’s where the growth happens.
The Bottom Line
We all learned the basics in kindergarten—how to be kind, how to share, how to think before we speak. Somewhere along the way, life got more complicated. But maybe it doesn’t have to be.
Maybe it really comes down to four simple words:
Let Them. Let Me.
Let others show you who they are.
And let yourself become who you’re proud to be.
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